How's your week been?
I remember writing last Friday's post in a rush, and then getting an outline for Monday's in a mad dash before I had to zip out to Montreal for the long weekend. That part was great. But with all the house purchase work that needs to go on, my mind is still running around in circles. When I'm not thinking straight, or not paying attention to my current situation (ie when I'm not being mindful) I tend to make the wrong decisions. Let me explain.
Where I work, there was a celebration for a milestone my project team had accomplished. My group wasn't exactly part of the milestone, but the whole project was invited to a celebration. Side note: I love that inclusion within the project. We all share in the success. Anyway, I missed the invite for it until the day of the celebration. It was free burgers and drinks. Nothing to write home about, but a great way to meet people in the team, and with me only being there for three months, it would have been a great opportunity to make new friends. Seeing as I'm not the most social guy, I don't really have a whole lot of those, so I need to take any chance I can get.
I didn't go because I thought I'd have had to accept the invite way earlier. I ended up going home and missing it because of that and some other insignificant shit I had to deal with. I was obviously upset, because there's a great group of people where I work. I want to be part of them, or at least get to know them. But I'm shy and spend a lot of time working on my writing projects so my social time is limited. I know I'm making excuses. So I'm upset that I missed this thing because it would have been fun, but I backed out. As much as I talk about loving the process and self improvement, I know that I'm not perfect and I have flaws and things I'm trying to tackle just like all of you.
I knew I had to be honest with myself. I was unhappy, and I wanted to change that. So I meditated and wrote a really long speech to myself in my journal about the things I wanted to change. They were:
- My social situation
- My mindset towards work
Those are two pretty big things for me. I'm at that age where many men start to lose friends, and it can be tough to keep them in your 20s what with everyone starting their careers and not seeing them constantly etc. I want to get more socially involved at work because there are a lot of people my age, and from what I've seen, everyone seems great. I couldn't by luckier with my job. I want to change my mindset towards work. This is a weird one for me.
I want to see my day job as more than just a job. It's something I spend about half my waking hours doing. Why wouldn't I want to hold it in higher importance in my life? Why wouldn't I want to be more involved and take more enjoyment and fulfillment from it? Frankly it's silly that I don't do that now. However, it's something I'm going to have to do.
If I ever want to get to where I want to go in my life, I've got to improve on those points. And they're doable. I can say yes more to social invitations. I can go the extra mile. I can get more worth from my job by re-framing my thoughts. I do all this in other areas of my life, but somehow, one of the largest things I do every week gets less attention than I give to other things.
No one is an island, and I should stop acting like one.